The Big Nothing

Nothing. Nope, nyet, nada, zilch, zero. We last left Rand gulping down the midnight pharmaceuticals, vigilantly waiting to record the effects of the latest round of lithium carbonate and desvenlafaxine succinate. What he observed was: nothing. No nausea. No manic episode. No dance-y feet. No dizziness. No racing thoughts, forced speech, irritability or aggression. No brain farts*.

Ok, maybe my system was fully out of whack from the flu, maybe I was so mixed up I messed up my medication schedule. Maybe I was actually having a major manic episode and the medications were helping, causing not pulses of mania but cycles of normalness. Or maybe a hundred other things. Whatever, I got a really good night's sleep, finally.

One problem is that I just don't know what to expect. Doc didn't give us any information on how this thing is supposed to go, or what to watch for, etc. I don't know just what the performance envelope is supposed to be. The "Patient Information" inserts read like a side effect wish list, with no explanation or description or hint as to severity. Oh, and the warning signs of toxicity are pretty much the same as the normal side effects list. That helps a lot, thanks.

Most of what I know about my condition and the expected course of treatment has come from books, and lately, the internet. Which is where I found the first hints about:

*Brain Farts: That's what I was calling them. I think most other people call them Brain Zaps. They're hard to describe. For me, it's a great desire to lower my chin, turn my head to one side, tip the head to about 30° from vertical, close my eyes, and silently vocalize "Mmghhh..." while the muscles of my neck, shoulders and torso tense up momentarily. Think of a big bite of pickled lemon covered in rich, creamy milk chocolate. That's just the physical part, of course. While that's happening, the brain (mine, anyway) feels like it's sloshing around in skull that's temporarily a wee bit too big and the universe doesn't exist for an instant. I told you it was hard to describe.